For Emily H., the idea of helping someone become a parent started long before she ever became a gestational surrogate.
Growing up, she knew that her aunt and godmother had been unable to conceive. Her aunt eventually became a mother through adoption, and Emily remembers hearing her mom talk about how she would have carried a baby for her if circumstances had allowed.
Years later, when a close friend was struggling to conceive, Emily found herself offering to help without giving it much thought.
Her friend ultimately became pregnant on her own, but the idea stayed with Emily.
Helping another family have a child simply felt like something she was meant to do.
That instinct eventually led Emily to Shining Light Baby and not just one surrogacy journey, but two.
Two journeys and two families
Emily completed her first surrogacy journey in 2023, delivering a baby boy for international intended fathers.
A few years later, she returned for a second journey and delivered a baby girl for another international same-sex couple.
Although she knew more about the process the second time around, Emily says every surrogacy journey is different.
“I learned so much from my first journey that by the time I started my second journey I basically knew what to expect for the most part,” she says. “There were little differences of course.”
Those differences are part of what makes every surrogacy story unique. Even an experienced surrogate encounters new personalities, new circumstances, and new moments along the way.
Emily on the day she started medications for her IVF cycle as a surrogate.
The nerves before matching
Surrogacy involves a very personal kind of matching.
A surrogate and intended parents are considering whether they can build trust, communicate openly, and share an experience that will connect them for months, and often much longer.
Emily remembers being nervous before one of her match meetings.
Her intended fathers were from Spain. One spoke English fairly well, while the other was still learning. Emily did not speak Spanish, so she wondered whether the language difference might make it harder to connect.
But that was not her only worry.
“I was worried that they wouldn’t like me or my husband,” she says. “I’m a people pleaser and I just always worry if others like me or if I do something wrong.”
Those nerves quickly became part of a much bigger story.
Jodi, Emily’s intake coordinator at Shining Light Baby, helped connect her with intended fathers who were working with a fertility clinic Emily already knew from her previous journey. For Emily, that familiarity was especially important.
Emily on embryo transfer day.
The moments that never get old
Some milestones can feel just as powerful the second time around.
For Emily, one of those moments was the early ultrasound.
“It was always a special moment seeing the 6 week ultrasound with the baby’s heartbeat,” she says.
That first flicker on the screen is often one of the earliest moments when months of preparation suddenly feel very real.
But Emily says another moment was even more meaningful.
Seeing the baby she carried finally placed into the arms of the intended parents.
“The next biggest moment is seeing that baby in the arms of my Intended Parents,” she says. “It’s an awesome feeling.”
For Emily, that moment captured the purpose behind everything that came before it.
Surrogacy takes more strength than people realize
After two journeys, Emily does not minimize what it takes to become a surrogate.
“Being a surrogate is not easy at all!”
The surrogacy process has many steps. There are medications, screenings, appointments, fertility clinic visits, travel, pregnancy, delivery, and recovery. Surrogates may also spend time away from their own families for medical screening and embryo transfers.
Then there are the physical and hormonal changes that come with pregnancy and postpartum recovery.
Through those experiences, Emily learned something important about herself.
“That I am stronger than I ever thought I was!”
Looking back, she believes she was at the right point in her life to take on the challenges that came with surrogacy.
“I’m not sure that I would have been strong enough to do this when I was younger.”
Sharing pregnancy results at Christmas time.
Finding support from other surrogates
Emily also learned how valuable it can be to have someone who understands the experience firsthand.
When someone tells her they are interested in surrogacy but nervous about the process, she believes learning what to expect can make a big difference.
She also encourages women to connect with other surrogates.
“I have been lucky in both journeys to have a close relationship with another surrogate to support each other.”
Surrogacy can be difficult to fully explain to someone who has never experienced it. Having another surrogate to talk with can provide a different kind of support, especially through medications, appointments, waiting periods, and recovery.
Emily also had continuity within her Shining Light Baby team. Daria served as her case manager during both journeys.
“She was always very helpful when I needed anything,” Emily says.
Creating opportunities for her own family
Surrogacy gave Emily the chance to help two families grow, but the compensation also helped her work toward goals for her own family.
After years of not being able to do so, Emily was able to begin building a retirement fund.
She also completed some home remodeling and promised her family a trip to Disney.
For Emily, those benefits became another lasting part of what her surrogacy journeys made possible.
Emily’s surrogacy journeys helped her make progress toward important financial goals for her own family.
The misconception she wants to clear up
Even after gestational surrogacy has become more widely discussed, Emily says one misconception continues to come up.
“That the baby is not mine, we have no genetic connection.”
In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate does not provide the egg used to create the embryo. She carries a baby for the intended parents but is not genetically related to that child.
It can seem like a simple distinction, but it changes how many surrogates describe the experience.
Emily did not see herself as having a baby and then giving that baby away. She was helping intended parents welcome the baby who was always theirs.
Following what felt right
Most of Emily’s family supported her decision to become a surrogate and enjoyed following along with her journeys.
Some were understandably concerned about her well-being.
Emily listened to those concerns, but ultimately trusted her own reasons for moving forward.
“I went with how my heart felt was right and that was helping families grow.”
That decision eventually led to two pregnancies, two babies, and two families reaching the moment they had been waiting for.
After six deliveries, including two surrogacy journeys, Emily feels her chapter of carrying babies has come to a close.
Retiring from surrogacy with two amazing endings
Emily now considers herself officially retired from pregnancy.
After six deliveries and two surrogacy journeys, she will not pursue another one.
But she leaves this chapter of her life with experiences that shaped her, relationships she values, and memories she will always carry with her.
She also remains grateful that Shining Light Baby was part of both journeys.
“Both journeys had its moments for different reasons, but every journey had an amazing ending.”
When Emily was asked to describe her surrogacy experience in one word, she chose:
Inspiring.
It seems fitting for a journey that began with stories of women helping other women become mothers, continued with Emily instinctively offering to help a friend, and ultimately led her to help two families welcome children of their own.
Considering becoming a gestational surrogate?
Every surrogate brings her own story, motivations, family, and life experiences to the journey.
If Emily’s story has you wondering whether gestational surrogacy might be right for you, Shining Light Baby can help you understand the screening process, matching, compensation, medical process, and support available throughout your journey. Contact us today to learn more.